Journal Entry 1

I heard that some of the other members keep journals or work logs to keep their minds in order. I figured it couldn’t hurt if I joined in on the fun.

Things have been going….wrong, lately. I don’t know why, but everything just feels tense and anxious around here. Like suddenly everyone’s watching their back, no matter who they’re around. I’ve been away for too long; everyone seems to be suspicious of that. I need to gain their trust again, or else they might just turn on me.

….I’ve realized over the past few weeks, with Blaine’s birthday coming and going, just what a terrible brother I’ve been. I’ve practically abandoned my baby brother for my work, and he’s….grown up without me. I don’t even know who he is anymore. He doesn’t want anything to do with me.

Unless he’s doing something against TW. He’s always been antsy and terrible in training— he’s never stuck to the ideals. He’s making me nervous. He needs to learn to keep his head down, otherwise there might be problems.

Or maybe I just need to get out of here again. Go on another mission for a while. See if things change. ….I….just want things to be like they used to be.

-CA

1 year ago on January 12th, 2013 |0 notes